Less than a week to go...

Where should I start, seems like a lifetime since I posted last.

The last 4 weeks have been a challenge. First I was fighting a flu and missed a long walk because of that. Then, I did my 20. I will not say it was easy, but I did it and did it much faster than I hoped. I got some AWFUL blisters though. I mean seriously bad. So when I did some speedwork consisting of a super fast (for me) mile, I was compensating for the not yet healed blisters. OOPS. There went my knees. They got worse over several days, and I skipped yet another long walk. I have started physical therapy and am starting to feel better, but I am afraid to do any REAL walking. I walked all over the aquarium today, and it seemed to be fine, but that wasn’t anything strenuous.

I am teetering between feeling very at peace about this whole 26.2 mile trek and feeling totally panicked and like not even starting. I will admit when I saw rain in the forecast I blurted out, “well, if it is pouring, count me out.” I have since gotten over that, but I am really hoping it doesn’t rain. In fact, if I could have an exact repeat of today’s weather, I would be ecstatic! A friend of mine has a plan that if it is supposed to hit above 70, she will not start (health issues). And, I really had to think about it. I cannot think of anything that would keep me from starting at this point!

24 days until...no, not Christmas, the marathon!

Wow, how can it be here already? 24 days until the big one. I am a bit nervous, to say the least. I feel a bit queasy when I think about it.

I am optimistic one minute and petrified the next. I can do this, I know I can! I keep creating these crazy fantasies of finishing in less than 8 hours. It would be more than miraculous if I did! 9 - 9.5 is realistic.

Last weekend, I decided to join the NYC Marathon Tune-Up sponsored by NYRR. I love getting the support of the water tables and the Gatorade, plus there is something about the group dynamic that really works for me. I was originally planning to walk for 5 hours and see where that took me (a couple weeks prior in 5:06, I did 16). That was until that morning.

I was not feeling great that day since I had everything against me, except the PERFECT weather: I was tired, had my period, hadn't eaten the normal carbs the day before, arrived right as the race was starting and needed to pee already, got blisters, chafed (seems to be a new spot each time, but I just keep using more glide), etc. But, the weather was on my side. You couldn't have asked for a more perfect day. There was a light breeze at times, it was in the high 60s with the sun shining.

I was and am very happy that I went further than I realized. I did 17 miles in 5 hours 11 minutes (3.28 mph pace). I truly strolled for the last 4 miles. I did my first 13 miles in 3:53 (a 3.35 mph pace - Mercer and I did the MORE 1/2 in 3:55), so for walking pace, I felt great, especially since I went to the loo 3 or 4 times in there!

I really did a little bit more than 17, but I couldn't quite figure out how to map/clock my bathroom search/park tour, lol, which included going around the tennis courts and some crazy route (read another way, a 15+ minute detour), so I excluded both the time and the distance (may have been another half mile or so). I also excluded a 7 minute bathroom break where I watched the Team For Kids people shooting some footage for a video, with both of those diversions I was at 3.1 mph for 17.5 miles which is what I did for 16 miles a few weeks back and was pushing the entire time and was WIPED out after.

I was so happy with how I fueled for the first time, I felt like my eating and drinking and hunger all gelled (pun intended). I had a bottle of Gatorade during the first hour. Then, I had a gel every hour and a couple cups of gatorade and a ton of water (maybe too much because I had to stop 5 times - 3 of the times are included in my walking time since they were either port - a - potties or the boathouse bathroom.) I think that worked well for me. What was interesting was that I have traditionally been FAMISHED when I am done. This time I was hungry, but not starving. I came home, had a normal lunch and then had a small dinner. Normally I eat a HUGE lunch and normal dinner. I think the Gu gels filled me up and gave me a little zip. I did have a couple of cups of gatorade mixed with my water throughout as well, but I would venture to guess it was less than 10 ounces more.

I think over the past 8 months, I have made some progress and each race/walk is not as big a deal - some things seem to be not as monumental. One subtle shift that may amuse Mercer is that I no longer count the distance I walk to and from the car as part of my official walks. After 8 months, I have given that up ( however, I did measure it to see how far it was this weekend, and it was .9 miles, but I didn't count it, I promise).

So that is my belated weekend update.

I skipped my long run/walk this weekend due to feeling like I was fighting the flu. Still have that overall achy feeling and just do not quite feel myself. My joints are a little creaky . My throat is sore, but I am chalking it up to allergies and planning to get in 3 -4 miles tomorrow.

This weekend, I will do a long one. Need to figure out how to make it work with the Pilates class I am taking as well.

To Do or Not To Do, that is the Question!

To do or Not to do….what? Disney. Why, you may ask when I have thrown myself fully into TNT would I contemplate not doing Disney? Why when I have been passionate about the cause, the people and the training would I be in this debate?

Well, the experts have spoken, and I have heard them. My TNT walking coach, Barb, and the head NYC coach Ramon told me they were worried about my doing the 2 events so close together. Will, my brother and a professional-elite athlete agreed with a lot of what they said (also worth noting, almost everyone else who knows me thinks I can do both!) And, for a few reasons:

• It takes a long time to recover from a marathon (Ramon who finishes in the 3 hour time frame says it is about 4 weeks for him) which means I will spend around a month recovering, then I will only have a month to go until Disney to get fully ready.
• I am slow, we all know that, but Disney is one of the strictest about their time limits and do frequent sweeps. They do not want my Disney experience to be all about avoiding being swept.
• They are concerned about the overlap of the 2 training programs.
• They do not want me to burn out and want walking to be a life long passion.
• They want me to improve my overall fitness and lose weight.
• And, I may have missed some things.

I met everything they said with a “yeah-but…” statement. Yeah, but I am ONLY doing the Disney half...yeah, but I have already done a half...yeah, but I am incorporating the Disney training into the NYC training, etc. They came back with a reasonable argument, although they were not being argumentative, for each of my questions. Even though I was devastated (read as sobbing uncontrollably almost to the point of not being able to talk), I truly felt like they were looking out for me.

We left it that there were a few options, I could:
-drop out
-not do TNT
-postpone to the next season and truly train
-ignore them and keep doing what I was doing
-wait and see,
-transfer to the PF Chang Half marathon that same weekend, but with an extra half hour in their time limit

I took a couple of days to really mull it over, since I was clearly to emotional at first, to make a sound decision. The final outcome is that I am not sure whether I will do Disney or not. I really want to for so many reasons, not the least of which is the awesome Donald Duck Medal you get, ;-). But, I also really want to finish and do well. And, of equal importance, I want to raise money for the Leukemia Lymphoma Society. So, what to do, what to do???

I am waiting to make a final decision until 11/9. This is not some arbitrary date, but it is the “re-commitment” date for TNT. What does that mean? It means that you pay for any gap between what you've already raised and 25% of your goal and you're saying, “I am going to do this. If I do not raise all the money for my goal, I will personally fund it.” The other significance of this is that I will have completed the NYC marathon by then. I will be able to gauge my times, my initial recovery, etc.

So, the plan "du jour" is to go for it wholeheartedly, but to reevaluate honestly on November 9th!

Given I have only discussed this with a few of you and the same questions keep coming up, I developed a Frequently Asked Questions Section:

FAQs:
I donated to your NYC marathon, will that be impacted?
No, NYC is totally different. All of the money for Team For Kids will be applied to them! Thank you for donating to a charity that is inspiring. I see a group of the kids in Central Park running on Wednesday nights and feel honored to be raising money for them. THANK YOU for your support! I feel it every day.

I donated to TNT/LLS for you, what happens if you don't do Disney?
If I transfer to another season, the money transfers with me, so your money will count towards my new goal. You also have donated to an awesome cause and have given me support with my training for any/all events! THANK YOU!
If I decide to never do another TNT/LLS event, you donated to a fantastic cause, offered me support that I feel all the time. This is a cause close to my heart, so I am truly grateful. THANK YOU!

If you don't do Disney and stay with TNT what event will you do?
Most likely, I will transfer to the NJ marathon or half marathon (late April/early May). I will probably do the half because I also want to do the More Half in March (for no charity).

Do you think you can make the Disney time cutoff?
I do not know, but right now TNT is doing 2-5 miles each walk and I have done 2 miles a few times at the needed pace. I haven't tried 3 yet, but I will tomorrow. So, I am going for it and feeling optimistic. I hadn't done ANY work on my pace until last week and feel I am progressing nicely.

Have you lost any weight?
Okay, so this didn't come up because I have scared everyone off of asking me again...But, I have finally lost 2 pounds. Hey, it isn't much, but it is something. And, I must be redistributing because people who do not know about my training are asking how much I have lost.

Had a good 14 yesterday...

Well, it may have been closer to 13.

I did the first 4 outside in Central Park. I have no idea what the pace was, but it was an easy one. It was warm and humid though, so I decided to take advantage of the free 4 day pass to Equinox and do the other miles indoors. I sure got my mileage out of that pass. I used it 4/4 days.

The walking felt good. I created a plan incorporating negative splits and stuck to it.
3.3 mph 3 miles
3.4 mph 3 miles
3.5 mph 3 miles

+ warm up and cool down Over half mile maybe more. It went very well, and I felt good. I ended up averaging about 3.3 with the bathroom breaks, 3.4 without.

I did 1.5 incline for most of it, but I went up to 4.5 or 5 for .06 miles each mile. I knew it wasn't much, but I figured at least getting an incline into every mile was something.

The last mile I was attempting to increase speed, but the treadmill decided I was done and needed to cool down (It had been an hour since my last potty break, so every 30 seconds it would go to 0 incline and 3mph, and I would have to reset it). With a quarter mile left, I ended and started a new session. I figure the whole thing only cost me 5-10 seconds, but it was disorienting.

I am in a good frame of mind and feeling optimistic.

Friday's workout was "jarring." Quite literally. I only had planned to do 2.5 miles (all I had time for), but somewhere in - about 2 miles the treadmill stopped - I was at 4.0 at that point, quite a speed for me. I was lucky not to fall or anything, but my body felt really whacky. I don't know what happened, but it just stopped and got an error message. My body was still feeling very tight yesterday, so I was worried about walking. I did it though. I tried to get on another treadmill after that, but I couldn't get my mind around it, so I just cooled down, stretched and called it a day. I wasn't worried since I had a long walk the next day and usually take it super easy the days before and after my long ones.

One other thing to note, I did those 13 miles this weekend while getting the worst blister I have ever had.

Oh well, that is what they call our medals. I will play around with my insoles because it seems like it was hitting funny.

One other thing to note, I did those 13 miles this weekend while getting the worst blister I have ever had.


Oh well, that is what they call our medals. I will play around with my insoles because it seems like it was hitting funny.

topics to come...tnt/Disney - to do it or not to do it....

16 down, and so am I

Yesterday was an intense day. I am NOT a morning person and I was out of the house so early that my bagel place wasn't even opened yet (it opens at 6am). Maybe, at that point, I should have turned around, gotten back in bed and had a normal day. But, anyone who knows a marathoner knows we are not normal, so I found a different spot to get my fuel (in non-athlete terms, food) and get to the run, uh, walk.

I was quite bummed to get up to the start of the LTR (Long Training Run) and discover Madison and 5th are all meters now. So, I had to find a lot. I was happy to see that people were still lined up for the portapotties and the later time groups hadn't started yet.

I walked past the 8s (those are the people who for the entire 20 miles plan to maintain an 8 minute pace - luckies), 9s, 10s where I found a WW marathoner buddy, Gabi. She is a pace leader and was sweet as could be. I went all the way to the 11s and then to the back of that pack. Each time we inched forward, I re-inched to the back of the pack. When our group left the gate, there were clearly only 2 of us walkers and the other was a speed demon (I later found out she wants to finish the marathon between 6:00 and 6:30).

So, we were off. And just to make sure we knew this was NY and Central Park, we were immediately greeted with a never ending hill. I kept thinking of a video (about 3:15 into it) I recently watched in which a woman greeted each hill with, "I love hills." I kept repeating it to myself, then I would answer, unintentionally, "liar." Well, I did this all alone and realized how incredibly lonely the marathon would be. I would be towards the end (maybe the last person and all alone). This was cemented as I approached the 1 mile mark and the volunteer holding the marker was already loading it into his car. KC told me about that. Watching them take up the chip mats as she approached, and that was with a pace almost 1.5 hours faster than mine will be.

Mind, you I was only a mile or so in when I passed the 102nd street traverse and the elite runners were finishing their 6 mile loop! I am not kidding. I pacified myself at this point by saying that at least I wouldn't be alone now. There would be runners passing. So I shouted some encouraging words to them. I also felt a little better knowing they had started close to 7, and I didn't take off until 7:29.

I was barely approaching mile 2 when there was more slope. I was already tired. I texted Mercer, "I love hills. I am a marathoner." Then followed with another text saying, "Fake it til u make it." I got a giggle out of that and got into a bit of a groove. I also was very happy to realize that I would be supported by the water tables almost the whole way because since I was ONLY doing 16 miles, I wouldn't finish that long after the slower 20 milers. The water tables made a difference, but that 1 mile marker was a tease. There were no more mile markers, and not just because I missed them. They just didn't have them. That was a bummer.

I got through 6 miles and felt good. Gabi was just finishing 11 and was so encouraging. I felt awesome and had done a 3.46 mph pace (one of my best paces). I no longer minded being looped. I looked forward to it. It was fun. I did the next 5 happily, and thinking such crazy thoughts as, "I could probably do 17-18 today," or "I should do all 20, I can handle it. 16 is too short." At then end of that loop, I had slowed to a 3.2 pace. But I was fine with it. I saw my coach at that point, Gabi and Paul Bogutsky. Gabi and Paul had completed their 20 and I was on my way for 16! I was feeling peppy and cocky. Suddenly about half way into the next mile, I began to feel cranky. I ran into someone who had run her first 11 or maybe 15 and was walking the end. She and I chatted, but somehow it was making me feel worse. I kept thinking I was about 20 blocks ahead of where I was. I felt good that the water stands still had water (well most of them), but I was mentally dragging.

I was trying to trick myself into doing things so I could finish in under 5 hours. I was even contemplating changing the path and only going for 15. But, luckily, my asst. coach was right at the point I would have had to cheat. I didn't and kept going. I was IMing, calling and doing anything to get some energy to me, it wasn't working.

At about mile 14, I started doing the walk fast for a lamp post slow down at the next and then I couldn't get the fast going again. I felt better about myself when I passed a walker (I think she may have been a runner turned walker) who was so tired that when I asked her how far she had gone, she waved me on. I caught up to a runner who was doing 17 total and was walking at this point (and I know she started when I did because I remembered her). Then I caught up with the other speedy walker. I think she was finishing 21 as I was finishing 17 but so be it. She wasn't sure how many she had done because she had taken a wrong turn. I was just happy not to be the last one out there.

As I was leaving the park, I met a woman who told me she had just done her first 20. She was glowing and so happy. She told me there were only 5 more bags in the bag check. I felt relieved, I wasn't the last one finished, even if I didn't do the distance. For some reason that validated me.

Anyway, as she and I exited the park, I saw a bench and decided to collapse. I sat there a good 10 minutes, then got the umph to walk the 4 seemingly endless blocks to the car. I got in the car and thought about taking off my shoes...nope, it would take too much energy. So, I drove off. As I was driving down the FDR, making great time home, I was exhausted. I kept thinking of taking a nap to the point I decided it wasn't safe to drive and my exhaustion was out-weighing my hunger. So, on Houston, I pulled off and slept. I slept for about 30+ minutes. Then drove home. At this point crankiness and sadness had taken over. I was hungry, starving, but I didn't even want to eat.

Needless to say, I did eat. I also soaked in Epsom salts and took another nap. I spent the rest of the day and night feeling like I couldn't do it (the marathon). There is no way I could do another 10 miles. I mean, that was ONLY 16. 16 is a lot compared to none, but it is only 61% of the full marathon. I said a few times yesterday that I think the half length is for me. I am now reflecting and wondering if I am just not fit enough to do a full. Can I get myself fit enough in 7 short weeks?! I am convincing myself that I can, but I also realize I am going to need a lot more support to do it. Doing this as a single-working mom makes fitting in all the training, cross-training, etc. tricky. I am mapping out my plan for the walks today, then finding a way to stick to it. I HAVE to complete this...for myself and for all the people pulling for me.

Funny that I was feeling good about the walk until the moment it ended...
Times for yesterday:

First 6 - 3.46 pace
Next 5 - 3.2 pace
Last 5 - 2.78 pace
Total 16 - 3.14 pace

Having a day between me and the walk, I feel better, but I am still not feeling confident.

Nerves...

My nerves and I are becoming close friends. Tonight I am so anxious about tomorrow's walk. NYRR is doing a 20 miler, and I had decided not to do it, but suddenly in talking to Coach Barb, I decided to go for it. I will have the water stations and support for enough of it to make it worthwhile. I will be the marathoner I am and join those runners out there. The course is 20 miles, but Coach Barb told me to do 5 hours and nothing more. In my ideal world that would be 20 hours, but I am not there.

My goal is to do 16. Based on my past walks 15 seems realistic and doable. Based on my past races 16-18 seems doable and realistic. Doing my MORE pace, I would do 16.66, based on my LI 10K, I would do 18.8.

I am so nervous. It doesn't help that each knee has been feeling a tiny bit funky this week. I better sign off so I can have a good night's sleep!

12.5 in 4:10

Well, I know that race pace will be faster or at least I hope it will since it was in March. I did 13.1 in 3:55, but it wasn't NEARLY as hot or humid. I am truly praying for some less humid weather.

I was very pleased with my walk though because, if you have been keeping up, I have been averaging okay walking times, but then I add in all these breaks. On Sunday, I didn't have any breaks. It was straight through, well, I mean I did use the facilities in Mickie D's and I did stop to buy water and Gatorade, but I didn't stop or stop the clock at all.

I did, however, manage to twist my knee ever so slightly and it was killing by Sunday night. Lots of ice seemed to do the trick. I was fine by Monday. Of course I haven't done a walk since then, but I trust I will be fine tomorrow night, the next TNT walk.

Boy, do I love TNT! They are so awesome and supportive. I have already gotten an email from the walking coach, the campaign coordinator and the assistant walking coach! I love me some TNT!

TNT - Day One

Well going to TNT was quite a day. The bottom line is I loved it.

First, I went running in at 9:01, my mentor had told me to be there at 9 SHARP. So, I went running in only to find out that that was a mentor meeting. After about 5 minutes I left and went to Dunkin Donuts. You will be happy to know that a TNT person who is about to sit in DD's doesn't indulge in the delicious, tempting donuts. No, I had an iced coffee and read a fitness magazine...HELP, who am I?

Second, I returned to the meeting at 10am, and some woman said, "I know you." Well, it turns out that on my birthday otherwise known as a travel day from H-E _ _ , we met in the Toulouse airport. She and her friend were just coming back from a week at a spa. They, too, were having a travel day you wouldn't wish on anyone. So, that was fun.

Third, the event began - a section on the who is who and each group was more impressive than I would have imagined. Then, the training talk - Coach Ramon is a riot! Then, the fundraising talk - a ton of ideas. Then, a reminder about why we're doing this - the Honored team members - wow. These people are heroes! They are people with a blood cancer who are participating right along side us and show the strength and courage I only dream of having. They are AMAZING!

Fourth, we went on our first walk. It was great to walk with others, to have no attention on the distance or time. I just took the coaching and walked. Of course, I couldn't stand NOT knowing the distance, so I ultimately looked and it was 2 miles. I never timed it, so it could have been 25 or 40 minutes, I have NO idea.

That was the day and it was 1pm. And, I put off the 12 miler until Sunday because it humid and much later in the day than I anticipated.

3 quick ones today to prep for tomorrow...

Tomorrow is my first day with TNT. I feel like a kid starting a new school year. Hopefully, I can handle it with the same grace that Emily did. She prepped - got a good night's sleep, laid out her clothes, packed what she needed and got up on time. She thought about what would be good and what would be hard and accepted it. She got up on time and her entry into 4th grade was excellent.

So, lessons learned - lay out clothes - DO NOT FORGET SNEAKERS :-)
Pack whatever I will need
Go to bed early
Get up on time
and Trust it will all work out

The part I am having a hard time with is thinking about what will be good and what will be hard. I am feeling shy and hoping to meet someone. I will admit that my mentor not believing 19 min/mile is my pace has hung over me. It is...Time and Time again, I end up there or slower. So, I think that is my biggest fear - they will say, "You are too slow and cannot be helped." Should I admit that I checked and the PF Chang marathon that same weekend has a more friendly time limit? 4 hours for a half. I have done that before. I did 3:57 or something. And I am in much better shape now.

OK, I will stop making myself nuts and trust it.

Today was a quick 3 miles, but I truly can't stand walking anywhere except the park now. All those people and cars just plain ole annoy me. I think they add a lot of stress and time to the day. And it was HUMID again. I hate that.

Longest walk yet (about 18 miles)

Sunday Morning (Pre-walk)
I was supposed to leave this morning at the crack of dawn, but when I awakened and it was pitch black out, I rolled back over and decided that was a stupid idea. I should walk in the sunlight, right?! lol.

So, now at about 8:20, I am (still) procrastinating leaving for this big walk. Again the question "why?" pops into my mind...The simple answer: I am scared. Last week's heat episode has really left me doubting myself. I am scared. Scared I won't fuel right, scared my feet or legs will give out, scared I will collapse. I am just plain scared. 6-7 hours is a friggin' long time to walk.

So, off I go...

Monday Afternoon (Day after the "big walk")
As Dora the Explorer would say, "We did it, we did it, we did it yeah!" I managed to do 19.48 overall miles. That includes the jaunts to the ladies room, the strolls to the car to fill up my water/Gatorade and to get snacks. The "timed" walking portion was 18.48 miles. I took some long breaks, but here is the gist:

Half loop/warm-up: 1.73 miles: 32.5 minutes = 18.79 min/mile = 3.19 MPH
Full Loop #1: 3.35 miles: 62.25 minutes = 18.58 min/mile = 3.23 MPH
Full Loop #2: 3.35 miles: 61.5 minutes = 18.36 min/mile = 3.27 MPH (still thought negative splits were possible)
Full Loop #3: 3.35 miles: 62.8 minutes = 18.75 min/mile = 3.2 MPH
Full Loop #4: 3.35 miles: 66 minutes = 19.07 min/mile = 3.07 MPH
Full Loop #5: 3.35 miles: 77 minutes = 22.99 min/mile = 2.6 MPH (OUCH)
TOTAL WALKING TIME: 18.48 miles: 362.05 minutes: 19.59 min/mile = 3.06 MPH
TOTAL TIME (including breaks and all): 19.48 miles: 428.5 minutes: 22 min/mile: 2.73 MPH

I was feeling really good until the last loop. That one was hard. I was hungry, tired and wanted to call it a day. I am a but miffed because I spent as long yesterday including my breaks (which would, obviously, be counted during the marathon) as I had originally hoped to spend doing the entire thing (aka marathon), yet, I still had 6.8 miles to go (which is over 2 hours at the pace I was keeping). Speed and endurance are tricky things to work on. I thought by not pushing my speed too much in the beginning yesterday I was golden and would maintain a 3 MPH rate throughout, but no such luck. The good news is, I did maintain that for the first 15+ miles which is a huge improvement.

All in all, it was a great walk, a great day and I must say, I know now how much the heat impacts me. Yesterday was a lovely day to be walking and the climate was right. It wasn't too humid, the high must've been in the low 80s. It was all good. I feel good today. My feet were aching last night and hurt mildly this morning, but they seem to be okay. Next long walk, I will try taking something like aleve during the walk and see if that helps. The footsies were killing for the last lap. Luckily, I called a friend and chatted for about 15 minutes which had me not concentrating on the pain too much - I was going to say forget about the pain, but I didn't. I just placed it to the back of my mind for a few minutes.

Walking in Prospect Park, which is where I do the majority of my long walks, is fascinating. There are people who you feel like buddies with because you see them several times. There are people who must be training for ironman events or something because I see them 4-8 times and I am walking - they are running or riding bikes. That is some serious mileage. It is such a friendly and diverse place.

As I walk throughout the day, it changes. In the morning, it is peaceful with the sounds of nature and the rhythm of the other athletes approaching. As the day goes on, there are kids on their bikes and the challenges of youngsters about who can get up the hill faster or who can go "no handed" for longer. And, if I look over at the fields, they start to fill up with people sunbathing, tossing firsbees, having picnics and playing a variety of sports: soccer, touch football, baseball and, if you can believe it, cricket. Who knew there was cricket right here in Brooklyn?

As the day goes on the bbqs start, which always seems a little cruel to me. Here I am having walked for umpteen hours, famished and I can smell the lighter fluid followed by the burgers and chicken cooking away. There is one family/group who seems to be there every weekend with a mob of people and their food smells divine. One of these weekends, I am just going to have to crash.

Then, as the day creeps on, the drum circle starts. I always get a kick out of that. The beat carries me to the end of my loop and starts the next. Usually, the people in that area are gregarious, funny and have some encouraging comments. They are all races, sizes and ages just chilling to the beat of the drums.

The one downside I have noticed is that as the day goes on and the park gets more crowded, the manners decrease. In the morning, everyone is watching out for everyone. You would never have a car or a pedestrian cut a jogger or biker off nor would you see an athlete get annoyed as a ball is accidentally sent into the path. In the afternoon, I am dodging people and cars crossing the streets. The bikers and roller bladers are in the walkers/runners lanes. People are seemingly bothered by any intrusion, even someone encouraging them. Here is an example. The Team for Kids Singlets are BRIGHT GREEN and hard to miss. There was a young 20 something girl wearing one. I passed her 4 times. The 1st time, I called out, "GO Team for kids." She looked up and around baffled. Mind you, I was wearing the white version of the shirt, she still never spotted me. The other 3 times, she was so busy watching where she was going, we never even made eye contact. I feel certain that would never happen in the morning. In the morning, everyone has a smile for the other athletes out there. Maybe it is the heat, maybe it is the crowd, I don't know, but if you want to find the nicest crew, go early in the morning.

Wow, I hate to sound cocky, but I am in awe of myself. Just 7 months ago, when I attempted to do a quick mile I was dying afterwards and now I did almost 20 miles and have had a totally normal day today! That is amazing. I even went swimming and raced with Emily.

And no, I am still not losing weight. I am within a pound of where I was in January when all this insanity started. I put that in often since it is the #1 question I am asked.

Ciao, until the next update.

67 days, marathon day gets closer...

Wow, suddenly it is all so close. Just barely 2 months away. How did that happen? It seems like it was just yesterday that I fully committed to doing this insane event. And, now I am suddenly at the halfway point!

I need to get a good long walk in this weekend. It is imperative because last Saturday's walk has really left a doubt in my mind. Up until Saturday, it had never occurred to me that I might not be able to make it or that I might not finish. Now, I realize there are a lot of people who start but don't complete. I do not want to be part of that statistic and need to step up the conditioning and workouts if I am not going to be. I need to get serious. I had thought I was serious, but seeing how I struggled with the heat and all, I can now realize I have been a little laid back about the whole thing.

I will do this. I WILL, I WILL, I WILL

Why?

People keep asking me why I am doing the marathon. That is a good question. I have a lot of answers depending on the conversation, the time of day, my mood and various other factors. I think the reason changes for me from moment to moment. Some of the reasons are that I have always wanted to. I have found marathoners inspiring. I remember a gym teacher doing it which seemed logical to me, he was after all in phys ed. But, then I remember people like my cousin Eleanor doing it with her husband and, if memory serves me right, her in-laws. She was always fit and athletic, but certainly not a marathon runner. In fact, I had never even thought of her as a runner before. I was incredibly impressed. Then, when I lived on the UES, I was watching and an old college pal, Stephanie Ortiz, went past me. She was always taking aerobics and stuff in college, but I had never thought of her as a runner either. Then my brother's girl friend did it, then my brother, then others. There was the CFO at my job, Paul Bogustsky, who was as busy as they come, yet I would run into him around lunch time and he would be just returning from a run. He would make comments like, "Oh it was a short one today, only 8 miles." I believe he had done 8 marathons or so. He and his wife would do them. I can remember being impressed by the training, but what REALLY impressed me was seeing him the Monday after. He was walking around the office as though he had had a typical weekend. I was in awe. Still am, Paul, if you ever see this. So what does all this mean? I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be someone who had the courage, strength, discipline and insanity to take on a goal like the marathon and fulfill on it.

Why else? I thought I might meet some interesting people. Plain and simple. And, I have. It started in training for the half.

Anne
I did not meet Anne because I was training, I met Anne because she and I were both at one of my brother's squash matches, and as he introduced us he said, "You 2 have to meet because you were both IMing me at the same time last week that you were tracking your walks on mapmyrun.com." Anne and I chatted and learned we sometimes walked in the park at the same time. I ended up seeing her in the park a couple of times...the most critical was at about mile 8 of the More half. She ended up joining Mercer and me and going with us until the end. I figure anyone who can put up with Mercer's and my bantering and my unbelievable crankiness around mile 11 is a keeper. Anne is mildly (I hope more than that) toying with the idea of doing the Disney half with me.

KC
KC, who I walked with yesterday, is amazing. KC has had quite a few health issues over the past few years, but she has dedicated herself to walking. She did the NYC marathon last year in 7.5 hours (which is about 1.5 hours faster than I plan to). She also has done a whole slew of halves and trains in all different ways. She does Yoga, strength training, deep water running and who knows what else. In addition to being a great friend (which is so obvious because at each race, she has pals do it with her, watch her, etc), nice and funny, she is a total inspiration. She has lost over 100 pounds since she started all this. She is what I call good folk.

Cindy
Next is Cindy. Cindy lives in Wisconsin. Yes, I am in NYC. Cindy responded to a post I made looking for Brooklyn Walkers. She said she gets into NY from time to time and walked the NY marathon in 6.5 hours last year. Well, she came to NY for a week long vacation and we met up for a Central Park walk. Cindy is clearly a New Yorker, even though she has lived in WI for about 25+ years. Cindy educated me about Milaukee and was a delight to walk with.

Why now? Another question I am asked a lot. Well, I always said I wanted to do it before I was 40. I entered the lottery, as you may know the NYC marathon is so popular that you must enter a lottery. I didn't get in. I was relieved for a split second. Then, I was totally upset. I wasn't sure what to do. So, as I often do when at a cross road, I spoke to Will, my brother. He said, "Well, if you wait until next year, you will be doing it when you ARE 40." That was it, I knew I was selling out. I had always said before I was 40. So, I went and found some charities that would get you in. There were only a handful that I was into. I ended up with Team For Kids and the rest is history.

Why else? I think it is a really good release mentally. I like the high I get from it. I am sure it is benefiting my health too, but I must admit that is really a happy consequence. It is not why I started it nor why I do it. Everyone else seems to be into it, so let me answer that question, that if you haven't asked, I am sure you wanted to:
How much weight have you lost? Well, uh, let me see, uh none. At least as of last week. I was, believe it or not, up about 5 pounds. I do not know how or why. I do not understand it, but since I didn't go into it for that, I do not dwell on it. I will not lie that when I got on the scale today for the first time in a week or so and it was down 9 pounds (the 5 I had gained + 4), I was happy. But, I was cautiously optimistic because I had to have sweat out at least 10 pounds yesterday, lol. So, I will see what it says over the next several days. I have started to watch what I am eating from a training perspective. I want to recover well (although I ate all wrong for that yesterday) and eat the right foods to fuel me before during and after my workouts. So, that may cause me to lose. I think my speed would increase if I were a little lighter too, but suffice it to say, this is not my focus.

Lastly, I will admit that even though I haven't done the marathon I am already planning the other events. My next year looks something like this:
11/4/07: NYC Marathon
1/12/08: Disney Half-Marathon
3/23/08 ?: The More Marathon/Half - Marathon ( I am not sure they will let me do the full since I won't be quite 40 yet, I miss it by a couple of months)
5/3/08: The LI half or Full (depending on the More)

I will do the NYC and Disney for charities. The NYC, in all honesty, because I had to, and Disney because raising money for LLS (The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society) is a no brainer since Barbara (my friend and boss) has recently been diagnosed with Leukemia.

Wow, it is hot!!!

Yesterday was my biggest challenge yet.

We started out a few minutes before 8 and it was actually relatively cool which was a shock since the report had been hot and humid. We went over the Manhattan bridge and were doing a great pace up until about mile 5. I think we were still under 18 minute miles at that point.

Then, I guess the heat hit in. I could feel that I wasn't myself. I debated over having Gu Gels, more water, or what. But, I was not feeling the way I normally do in a walk. I wasn't worried about it. I just thought it was because I was walking so fast and walking with someone. So, at about 7 miles, I had a Gu. And at about 7.5 miles I decided to have some more water and a banana. I hadn't tried a banana before. Then at about 10 miles I decided to have gatorade (tried a new flavor - Rain/Berry, so good!). I drank it pretty fast because I was totally thirsty, hot and achy at that point. Well within a mile I felt nausea, crampy and like I needed to quit. I really just wanted to curl up in bed and say forget all this. This is the first time since committing to the marathon that I have contemplated ending a walk early or quitting the entire endeavor. There were 2 things that kept me going. The first was knowing how many people are behind me in accomplishing this. The second was KC. She was just pushing on. Her blood sugar was dropping, so she handled that, and she was just pushing through.

I also felt bad about our time, even though going in KC knew I was much slower than she is. I was slowing us way down. We finally caught site of the Brooklyn Bridge and I bought a bottle of water that KC and I just poured over our heads. It was bloody hot. I have never noticed all the benches on the bridge before but each one seemed to be calling my name. I also started thinking, "If I collapse, will KC figure out that I have a cell in my bag and call Mom or anyone?"

Finally, we made it over the bridge and there was the Park, Cadman Plaza. I told KC I had to sit and she could go on ahead. She didn't. She patiently stretched and waited while I convinced myself I could make it to Mom's, probably a half mile away. At his point, KC confessed that before we met up she had ALREADY done 2.5 miles. So, she would end up with 17.5 or so!! Well, I made it a quarter mile and decided to sit again by the Farmer's Market (14 miles) and wait for Mom and Emily to show up there. Emily and I creeped to mom's (4.5 blocks away) in probably 15 + minutes. My feet were killing, I was soaked, it was nuts.

The rest of the day got better. I took a long jacuzzi bath, Mom fed me, I napped and then I was ravenous, so Emily and I went to a local haunt, Teresa's. I had all good intentions to eat well, and uh, the hunger took over. I had Chicken noodle soup, potato pierogis, and ,dare I admit, a vanilla shake! It hit the spot. I think for recovery you are supposed to have as much protein as possible, well I blew that. But after sleeping more than 10 hours last night, I feel almost back to myself.

Time wise. I need to confirm with KC, but I think including the 5 minutes in cadman park our 15 miles took 4 hours 40 minutes or 20 minutes per mile or 3mph. That sounds way too fast to me, I will have to check into that. If it is fast, it is faster than I did 2 weeks ago and just a hair slower than last week. So, I will take it and know that I am truly progressing!

I was supposed to do 6 miles today, but I am backing out because of the humidity and fear.

I would like to thank....

YOU!!!

If you are reading this, you are certainly one of those who deserves to be thanked. The support I have received since I committed to doing the marathon in just unbelievable. People have blown me away with their:

• incredibly supportive words: "I have no doubt you can do this, you are an inspiration,"
• financial generosity: "For you, I dug deep,"
• offers to train with me: "Okay, so how are we going to do this? Set up a day we will walk together or take this week by week?"
• support of the cause: "The charity sounds great as someone who also has always had weight issues," and
• watch me on the big day: "It is already blocked on my calendar, and I will see you at least once."

It is humbling. I am so happy and lucky to have amazing people in my life.

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
(in alphabetical order by last name)

Helene B, Lani B, Lynn B, Allison B, Ernie B, Kim B, Anthony B, Duncan B, Jill B, David B, Mom, Mercer C, Will C, Dad, Ellie C, Emily C, Lori C, Michael C, Anne C, Leslie C, Barbara & Mark, Ralph E, Aunt Karin and Uncle Paul, Patti F, Fido - Dan L & Michael G, Hallie F, Gloria & Marvin, Tresha G, Donna G, Amy H, Stephanie H, Mary J, TJ, Cindy K, Aunt Ninie, Susie & Oscar, Gabriela L, Deena L, Roz M, Marcia M, Eleanor M, KC M, Lisa M, Nancy & Carlos, Michelle P, Leslie R, Johnny R, Jennifer S, Jamie S, Gigi S, Liz S, Kathy S, Glenn S, Emmy T, Kim W, Shireen W, Robert W, Judge John W, Libby W and Annie Y!

Back to Last week's walk...

For those of you reading who know something about running and walking and endurance events, you also know about negative splits. I, being new to all this, just heard about them recently. The basic bottom line is that you get faster as a long run/event goes on rather than slower. For example if you are doing a 20 K race, your first 5K would be the slowest and your last would be the fastest. This expression negative splits keeps coming up. First, my cousin told me she did them. I was ready to say I was sorry and encourage her to keep running, but to take care of herself because negative didn't sound good and for a 39 year old to be doing any kind of splits, I was certain she needed ice and to rest her overstretched legs. She was elated though, so I learned a bit about them. Next, I walked with someone from WI. She had a Team For Kids shirt and on the back it read, "I did my fastest 10K 20 miles into the marathon." She went on to explain that her coach had them all start out each walk/run easy and push harder and harder as they went on. This totally intrigued me since I was certain that the last 6.2 miles of the marathon would be by far my slowest. I wasn't upset about it, it just seemed obvious to me, you are exhausted, have walked 20 miles, it is early evening, you are hungry, what else would you expect? Then, I went to check out my friend Jenni's blog and her latest entry was entitled Negative Splits. I decided that 3 totally different people talking about them in that short a time was a clear sign, and I needed to get in action around this.

Well, then I did my 16 miles (okay, I admit I am rounding up from 15.59). After that I was quite certain negative splits were some crazy person's idea and were not attainable for this Brooklynite. Then, my next long walk came, and I decided to really take it on. I would push for the first of my 3 laps (3.35 miles), but I would push harder for the second and third. Well, by george, I did it! I had negative splits. I cannot even believe it, but I did. And, somehow I actually felt good at the end! I was happy. Now, my time is still slower than I would like, but heck, I did it.
Times (Each lap was 3.35 miles):
Lap 1 - 65 minutes (19.4 minutes/mile)
Lap 2 - 57.5 minutes (17.16 minutes/mile)
Lap 3 - 56.5 minutes (16.87 minutes/mile)

Since I was so focussed on the lap times decreasing, I did all my pitstops between laps, so the bigger picture is: 202 minutes for 10.3 miles or 19.61 minutes/mile or 3.06 MPH.
Last week was: 315 minutes for 15.59 miles or 20.21 minutes/mile or 2.97 MPH.
So an improvement, but still not the times I want. The last lap was close though. I am hoping that some walks this weekend with KC, a TFK member and Anne, a friend and walking buddy will help speed me up since they are both faster than I am.

I have never thought so much about the Little Engine that Could until I embarked on this journey. I can't tell you how often I hear myself saying, "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...."

Keep your eyes out for posts on how I am touched by the incredible support I have gotten and how I know I am a nut.

Training should be called Pushing...

I keep thinking "training" sounds so easy and that it is all about consistency and repetition: training your pets, potty training, weight training, etc. Then, I get into it and I realize that consistency and repetition are actually only a small part of training. Training is pushing. Pushing yourself mentally and physically to do things you wouldn't normally do. Maybe if you train well then it comes down to repeating it and doing it consistently.

I feel like I am pushing myself to do the walks, to learn about the nutrition, to learn about pacing and the shoes and equipment, to go further, to go faster, to decide about what I will do after. I am just always pushing (and stretching) myself in ways I did not anticipate.

I love it. I can't say that I am tortured which I have also associated with training before. There are moments during my long walks that feel a bit torturous, but all in all, it isn't torture. It is exciting, revealing, and dare I say fun?!

Today was tough. I woke up at 8 ish and knew I should get up and out the door, but I was tired, Em was at Mike's and I figured a few more minutes of sleep on what felt like a cool day wouldn't hurt. Well, next thing I knew it was 10 am. I dilly dallied and took forever getting myself out of the house. By the time I started my walk it was 12:49! On a normal day, that would be a death wish, but today since it was cool, it was fine. I just kept pushing through and had some great times and felt really good at the end.

I will do another post (is that what you call it on a blog? I am not even sure) on today's walk, my new air heel, the new inserts in my shoes, and who knows what else?

Random thoughts...

Addicted...That is the word that I keep using about walking and races. I think I am addicted. I spend a good part of my day thinking about when and where and for how long I will do my next walk, what equipment I need, what races I should do, what my time will be, etc. I have to constantly remind myself that I do have a life outside of this marathon.

Bridges...I have decided to walk all of the major bridges that connect Manhattan to the rest of the world. I have done the Williamsburg Bridge and the Brooklyn Bridge. I still want to do the Manhattan, George Washington and the 59th Street/Queensborough. I think the 59th Street/Queensborough has become this ominous thing to me since several people have mentioned to me that they found it one of the toughest parts of the marathon. First of all, it is quite an incline, second of all, it is desolate, 3rd of all, it is far enough in that you are exhausted. So, I want to do a couple of rehearsals on it.


Shoes...I am very happy with my running shoes (new balance 766), but it is time to get another pair. I am torn. They do not make mine anymore, but I can probably find them online. Should I go get fitted at a running store? Am I a runner? I keep thinking I am, but I am a walker, will they scoff at me?


Training...I must improve my time. It is suddenly hitting me that I will be finishing in the dark, and I would like it not to be past Emily's bed time...lol. I originally had the goal of finishing in 7.5 - 8 hours. I have now decided anything under 9 would be good and 8.5 would be awesome. I am not sure how or why I slowed down so much, but I have, so now I just need to adjust my thinking.

Disney...Should I do it or not? I feel so torn. I really wanted to do the Disney half. In fact, it was training for that half that had me decide to train for the More and the rest is history.
The pros - It would be fun, it would be a foray into TNT, it is a good cause - Leukemia and Lymphoma, it will be cold here and it will force me to take on my time and pace in a new way, I could honor barbara.
The cons - It means more fundraising, the fundraising for it will start before I have even done NYC, I want to go back to Disney with Emily, but she might be a distraction, I do not have anyone to watch Emily while I am there (if she is with me or not), if Emily comes she will have to miss some school.
I suppose I am leaning towards going and finding someone to come with me to watch Emily.

These are the random thoughts of the day.

81 days until I do it...

I am still in a state of disbelief that in 81 days I will walk 26.2 miles. That is a friggin' long way and 81 days is right around the corner! I bounce all over from being confident to terrified to giddy.

The thought that I will no longer be on the sidelines and will be one of THOSE people in the middle of the street on November 4th is wild. For about 30 years, I have been one of the audience watching, cheering and imagining what it takes to participate for about 30 minutes then going on with my life and forgetting about the marathon for another 364 days. Somehow when I thought of it in the past I only thought of it as being that day. I didn't realize that race day is really the culmination of a series of days, weeks and months leading up to the big moment. I suppose it would be trite to compare it to pregnancy and giving birth, but it is the closest thing I can think of to compare it to.

There are times when I just think of myself as a marathoner. Today, at the podiatrist I introduced myself and said, "I am here because I am doing the marathon on November 4th and ..." There was no ambivalence on my part.

Then, an hour later I walked into a clinic given by NYRR and the speaker, Mindy Solkin, kept saying things about how as marathoners and people at our level, we needed to do X, Y or Z. The entire time I felt like she was talking to the other 200+ people in the room not me. I had to keep reminding myself that I was not there as an observer. I am one of them/us/the marathoners. Unreal.

I will chronicle my training here and someday may even show people this blog, we shall see